alone.

by yourself is an odd place. if you are truly alone you can scream as loud as you can and nobody can hear you. you can think out loud, talk to yourself, act goofy, run, dance, jump. alone is a free place. you dont feel the pressure to please anyone or the tension to do what is right or expected and there is a freedom in that. sometimes, i cherish that alone time. in fact, most every night i wait for that alone time when it finally settles down at my house and everyone is asleep but me. the television is more than likely on but irrelevant. quietness overcomes me as i sit in "my" chair looking increasingly like my father... pajama pants, same old t-shirt and those horrible house shoes. i dont know why i wear them. i hate the fact that i feel the need to but maybe it is part of my genetical makeup... dna? alone. no one to answer. no one to question. no one to listen to. no one to talk back. completely alone... well, except for God.

there is such solitude and peace and freedom in being alone. by yourself is an odd place. the place that brings such stillness is also the same place that brings restlessness. i completely acknowledge the difference between alone and lonely. in fact, that is the difference in and of itself. alone on the flip side is a horrible, singular, blinding, deafeningly silent place. as much as i covet my personal quiet solitude i never want to exchange it for loneliness. for those who have experienced that type of failing trade, an emotional bailout is in order. only after three recent days apart from my soul mate and i am a desolate human. i live in temporary lostness when we are apart. yet too often i experience the same thing when we are together. there are times when i take for granted the treasure i am honored to call my wife. after about 48 hours apart neither one of us is fun to be around. we get to missing one another. it just happens. we both love our alone time. neither of us wants to experience loneliness.

briefly alone... ok. other than that, i'm out. in fact God even said that it was not good for man to be alone. i bet He was thinking about me.