troubled and saved for there.

I have been troubled lately. About ten days ago I was walking through my local grocery store and noticed a man standing near the baby diapers. I noticed him because he was looking at the different brands quite thoroughly and I remembered the days... Well, I did my shopping and went and stood in line. As I approached the end of the line this same man walked rather quickly right past me, in front of me actually, and right out the front door. He had a a little plastic hand basket full of stuff and diapers on the top. As her left the store I watched him walk across the parking lot faster and faster and then as he approached his van (which was parked right next to my truck) he hit sprint speed and jumped in the van as it was already leaving the station!

I was amazed. I was shocked. I was mad. I was heart-broken. I was troubled. I don't know if I was more troubled that I witnessed this and did nothing or if I was more troubled that he stole baby diapers. This really bothered me. It happened so fast all I could do was watch and then... he was gone. troubled.

And for some weird reason I have been checking the obituaries in the paper every other day for the last two or three weeks. I don't know why. But as I turn to the columns of words written about the recently deceased, my eye always looks to see how old they were when they passed. I see death with completely un-spiritual eyes way too much. I know when we die (as believers) we will meet our ultimate reward but it takes me a while to get there. I think about death and tragedy and my heart hurts because someone is stripped away from those who love them. Anyway, we had a fatal traffic accident by my house about two or three weeks ago and I was about six minutes ahead of the accident. That has troubled me.

Then I find myself becoming restless with me. And then... I have one of those quiet "me and God" moments. I sense Him speak to me in a moment of stillness and quietness. The reason you are troubled is because you are seeking to fit into a place you were not designed to fit. It's like I'm trying to make my place in this world when ultimately I wasn't made for this world. So can I find peace? Yes, but peace in Him. So do I fit? No... maybe for a time and at a certain place. But the bottom line is I can not find that Utopian comfort because it is not to be found here. It is saved for there.

2 Corinthians 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal."