insufficient gratitude

I was 17 years old sitting on the edge of my bed when I witnessed war for the first time. It was the opening air strike in the Gulf War. I was shocked. I was amazed. I was terrified. My country was at war. I see it as one of those things as if you aren't directly involved you can't fully grasp the magnitude. Both of my grandfathers were war vets and I have listened over the years to their limited story telling doing my best to imagine what it was really like.

I remember the excitement of leaving home. Sure I'll miss everyone but I'm off to college. The world was mine for the taking. But not even for one second do I try to make the comparison of going off to college to the likes of going off to war. Unless some freak tragic accident I could come home whenever I got ready. Unlike the many who have served our country who were never guaranteed any return home... ever. I can only imagine the emotion of leaving home for potentially the final time. I can not imagine losing friends, forever.

There are several things that I have always envied of men who have served in the military. I have a limited understanding of honor for one. But to serve my country... no that's a flood of honor. I have always appreciated the sense of discipline our veterans seem to have. I have often wondered what kind of man I would be today had I served in the military. Those who have served walk differently. They have a swagger like none other. And talk about loyalty... they understand it.

As I reflect on this Veteran's Day I realize once again that I have a limited capacity to appreciate the numerous sacrifices made by men, women and families all across America. My best gratitude will always remain insufficient. To our Veteran's... hats off to you.

inspired...

I recently returned from a trip to the nations capital. While there I had the chance to visit the Smithsonian Museum. I actually went to the American History museum and was captivated by everything I saw. It is hard to imagine that some of the real items from history are there! I mean the actual coat worn by George Washington or Abe Lincoln... that's nuts! I saw Ali's boxing gloves, swag from many of the former President's and so much more...

As I walked around I could not help but feel overwhelmed. It was as if I was in the presence of excellence. I was in the hall of dreamers and visionaries. I have to admit I felt a sense of challenge as I read and looked at the artifacts that tell my nation's stories. The Civil War stuff struck me very closely. That was such an ugly time in history. Families hated one another and were often split. Rage and destruction ruled. But would we ever be where we are now as a nation if we had not previously gone there?

So many men. So many leaders. So many great accomplishments. What made them different? Did they have a greater ambition than I have? Were they smarter? Were they more wealthy? What separates the average man from the spectacular man? My answer is simple... bring your very best, every single day.

Was I inspired to make the most of my time on earth as I walked around DC? Most definitely yes.

3 drops of grape juice

mornings at our house are much like the final laps of a NASCAR race. everyone is rushing and running and doing their best to slide in the van just before the checkered flag drops. getting a kindergartner, a third grader, and a sixth grade teacher ready for the day and out the door at 6:45 is just short of insane. with the recent addition of late afternoon soccer practice followed by a late dinner, bath w/ hair washing & drying and a goal of bedtime by 8:30... forget about it.

even though i would not change one thing about my family (with the exception that in my perfect world school wouldn't start till about 9:15 or so) our mornings can be fairly crazy. and crazy is the word I choose if nothing goes wrong. add a little sleepy-headed 5 year old waking up on the wrong side of the bed and you might think the sky was falling. can't find soccer cleats, shoes are tied in knots, we just ran out of toothpaste, or 3 small drops of grape juice on the front of a fresh white nicely pressed shirt for mom and the world is rapidly coming to an end. well, just that very thing came to be at our house last week... not the end of the world part but the 3 drops of grape juice on mom's white shirt... just seconds before she was to crank Roxy (the name we have given our 2006 Toyota Sienna).

i witnessed it all first hand. the earth trembled slightly beneath my feet. sweat began to ooze from my brow. i could almost feel the tension. it was just short of actually painful. mom was steaming about those darn drops of untimely grape juice. and rightly so. i would have simply come un-glued. i would have snapped and thrown something. most of us would have done something stupid as we reacted and responded to one of life's little reminder moments.

i think those kinds of things don't just happen... i think they are allowed to happen. i really think GOD lets dumb stuff happen to us to see how we will respond. for us, the 3 drops of grape juice fouled our attitudes for the better part of the morning. everyone was late. the routine had been disrupted. but as i look at those silly moments, what's the big deal? it is grape juice. LORD, remind us all that the little moments that seem so HUGE are in all reality so very small. after all, how big can 3 drops of grape juice actually be?

alignment for assignment

A friend of mine shared a story with me a few weeks ago that I did not remember. This friend is beginning his fourth month of recovery and is living clean. He told me a story that took place about 15 years ago which I did not recall until he shared it with me. You see, he and I were at a party with other mutual friends when "the passing of the joint" took place. These were good guys, hanging out, not hurting anyone really... and as we sat around the joint came to me. Now I have had my share of "experimenting" but drugs never really appealed to me. I simply said, "No thanks, I'm good." I assume I didn't think anything else about it. But my friend obviously did. Just a few weeks ago he reminded me of that night. He said that memory of me had stuck with him over the years. I didn't make a big deal about it but simply passed.

Fast forward 15 years, I work in a drug recovery program and my friend is a resident in this particular program. Who knew that one day our paths would cross in this environment? In fact, 15 years ago I could not even imagined myself working in such a place. This past Sunday I listened as Pastor Larry Stockstill from Louisiana spoke about God's alignment for our assignment. He spoke of how so many things in our lives are simply aligning us for what God's ultimate will is for our lives. Maybe you have wondered like I have... why certain things happen to us in the way that they do. Maybe it is because somewhere down the line, He will use us in certain ways to help certain people simply because "we've been there". I know there have been trials in my own life and I have wondered, why in the world I am dealing with this. My own answer has been, well maybe God is allowing me to deal with this to minister to someone down the road. I don't know if that is going to be the case but it somehow gives me peace and meaning to the mess I often deal with.

I have to believe that the tests we all face are a part of the aligning process. Some of us have to be stressed and pulled to show our imperfections. Some are tested and tried to allow us to see where we need the most work. It is a character issue. I believe that God uses His all-knowing sense to direct us toward His perfect alignment. Once we find that alignment or as I call it, that divine "Sweet Spot" then we are able to achieve our assignment.

Don't grow weary if you are being tried. These tests breed perseverance and that leads to maturity and character. James chapter 1 says it this way... "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." At the time I had no idea that passing up a chance to get high would come back to be a badge of honor. Am I thankful that I passed? You betcha! My prayer: make me ever aware of Your alignment in my life.

sound investments in a troubled economy

What a year for the market. Many reports show that for the first time in decades our great land faces Depression-like levels of unemployment. When the bottom started to fall so many lost thousands and ten's of thousands and I only lost hundreds. I guess if you don't have much invested you really don't have much to lose. The problem with this is... you don't have much invested. I realize when I chose a career in the non-profit world that this term was literal. It is non-profit. The only ones making a killing in the non-profit world seem to turn out to be a little crooked. But don't cry for me, I chose this path. I made a conscious decision to follow in the footsteps of my father. I do find it neat that the last sentence applies to both my earthly father and my Heavenly Father.

I have close friends that financially are doing very well for themselves. I will admit that when I see them in their new car, new boats and having lots of big boy toys... I wonder why I can't afford stuff like that? Just this week I was reminded of why. Some choose to invest their money, time and talent in areas that reap them a sweet harvest. There is absolutely nothing inherently wrong with this, just for the record. They make wise decisions and it pays nice dividends for them. I on the other hand (and many like me) have chosen to invest money, time and talent in other ways. DISCLAIMER: This is not a self indulgent thought or statement that is set to paint a picture of poor little old me, nor is it intended to make me appear as a financial martyr, greater in any sense or the appearance that I have it all figured out. The truth is, if I had lots of money I would probably be just as broke... I like to spend.

I have simply chosen to make my investments elsewhere. I have also made some very wise investment choices. I can think of a list of young people and even peers that I have purposefully invested my own life in. I give them my time, I give them my heart, I give them my soul. After all, that is all I have. Regardless of how the market is doing and regardless of the value of the almighty dollar... the most sound investment you can make in a troubled economy is when you invest you in someone else. Luke 12:34 says, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I think we can flip that verse and make the same kind of sense. "For where your heart is, there your treasure will be also."

I challenge me and you... make wise investments. Invest in your marriage. Invest in your children. Invest in your walk with God. Invest in those around you. The payoff is eternal.

Illegalism in the 21st Century... post #100

It took me a year and a half but I finally broke the century mark. This is the 100th post for me!

There are few things in life that just burn my hide. People leaving their blinker on after they have changed lanes, getting a voicemail and people say their number so fast you can't figure it out, bad cell service... you know, the big things. Well, one of the quickest ways to fire me up is to show your legalism card. In my own words I define legalism like this: Legalism is living and abiding by a standard of rules and regulations that simply flat-out miss the bulls eye. I know it is really nothing new and we even read about it all throughout scriptures. From not eating certain foods to the way you comb your hair. I have first hand knowledge of legalism seeing as how I couldn't wear shorts until the 7th grade due to spiritual reasons. Jewelry, make-up, long hair-short hair... where does it stop? I know peoples intentions are sometimes good as they abide by these "doctrines" simply because they want to be closer to God, but to think that I am going to hell because I play cards is nothing short of absurd.

Now where I really have issues is when someone who lives by these standards responds toward me with this "your not living right" attitude. Fires me up! To think that there are churches that get bent out of shape because members leave and go somewhere else and then they themselves "talk about it" to no end... ridiculous. It may be a surprise to some but some of the worst treatment many receive are from other "believers". Makes me sick at my stomach. To say they follow Christ is a pure lie. They follow rules. Well, heck... even animals can follow rules. I have coined a term to describe the whole entire mess... Illegalism. Because it should be.

Whatever happened to love thy neighbor as thyself? That was pretty good teaching. For those who are entangled by the nasty web of legalism, my heart hurts for you just shortly after my blood pressure rises. Get over it and move on. Our lives are too short to not work it out together.

That's all I've got to say about that.

revival cancelled

A friend of mine recently saw a sign outside a local church that read "Revival Cancelled" and it began to stir my thoughts. Revival cancelled... really? Is that a status report for the good old US of A? Revival cancelled... can you do that? Revival cancelled... what if it really is? What would life be like if God removed His hand from our existence? What would that be like? First of all it would bring utter chaos but beyond that how would it feel? If we all woke up tomorrow and the hope that so many of us rely on was over night simply removed or cancelled... what would we do?

I have read many reports or studies that keep a pulse on the church in America and from I have read maybe in some places revival has been cancelled. Reports show that there are churches closing the doors for good in almost every city, town and neighborhood across our country. For numerous reasons they are just calling it quits. Maybe some of them need to close. They haven't seen a convert in over a decade. They haven't baptized anyone in recent history. They are more of a drain on the community than there are anything else. Maybe they should close down. Maybe revival has been cancelled. However, be not dismayed... there are some great, vibrant, healthy churches out there as well. I know first hand revival has not been cancelled. I see each week people from all walks of life being revived, brought back to life, new life!

But I ask myself this question... what if as of this moment on God never answered another prayer of mine. What would I do? I would hope and like to think that I would continue living my life and playing on His team but I can only imagine how discouraging that would be. If He never answered another prayer, I would still have my lifetime of personal miracles and do-overs to thank Him for. I would guess that I could take one day at a time and thank Him each of those days for just one answered prayer and never run out of days. I would like to think if He stopped responding to my petitions it wouldn't make a difference and I would carry on. But how many of my prayers are prayed out of sincere love for Him and mankind and how many are prayed because I need something? How many prayers are prayed because I am just flat out desperate for Him to move on my behalf? If He never answers another prayer... I still have a huge pile of things to be thankful for.

Revival cancelled? Not at my house... what about yours?

Saying revival cancelled is like saying Freedom Revoked... you don't have the authority.

life in the customer service line @ walmart

I realized today as I stood in the return line at customer service at my local Wal-Mart that Apple Bottom Jeans is an actual brand... all this time I just thought it was part of the song. Anyway, I am sure that at some point in every adults life we will all experience a Wal-Mart return. Thus was the case for me today. As I stood there I experienced a flood of emotions and questions...

For example, am I the only one that feels like if I don't have my receipt I am viewed as the guy who is trying to pull a fast one on the largest retailer in the world? I didn't have a receipt today and my simple exchange had to be reviewed by what seemed to be at least a half dozen managers. Now I am sure that there are those who were standing in the long line with me that were simply out to pull the wool over the CSR in charge but why the pressure? And what takes them so long? Everything is computerized but the process of scanning what I want to bring back along with the pain-staking scanning of my new merchandise was similar in length to a full store, late night inventory. But for some strange reason I still felt like I had to prove something to the clerk serving me today.

And if you have something from the electronic department to return, even if it is completely unopened... be prepared to give a full blown account of your actions for the last two months, a blood sample or two, and two of your three most recent credit reports. If it is something from ELECTRONICS that doesn't work, forget about it. You in for a good half hour ordeal. I witnessed it first hand today with a slightly elderly woman in front of me. The final call from the obvious big man on duty... "I will do it this time but just know I am doing you a favor and I will not be able to do this again." Oh mister wal-mart manager man... thank you so much for your grace and mercy as I return the broken merchandise that I paid good money for that didn't work to begin with. I am so sorry that I have inconvenienced you with my petty wish to actually get something that works. As you can sense I was a little perturbed by my trials and tribulations earlier this afternoon.

I guess the lesson I want to share is this... I am a simple man. I normally try to treat others with decency and appreciation. Is it too much to ask for to be treated in the same way. In the good book we find a valuable lesson in "treat others in the same way you would like to be treated." Or as we so fondly call it... the Golden Rule. Honestly I don't know if it is even in the scriptures that way but it should be. Life Lesson # 32 (from the book of Andrews) if I am rude, respond to me with rudeness. If I am nice and appreciative, help a brother out and return the service.

Until later, avoid the customer service line at Wal-Mart if at all possible.

there's no crying in soccer...

Every time I think about the movie "A League of Their Own" with Tom Hanks, Madonna, and others I think of my dear friend Phil Harris. I also remember the great scene and line by Hanks, "there's no crying in baseball..." Well, today the Andrews family began our journey in the world of girl's soccer. I have been blessed to be asked to serve Ella's (my 5 year old) team as assistant coach. The greatest humor in this is that I have no idea how to play soccer. In fact, the only rule I know is that you can't touch the ball. Which by the way is quite confusing to 5 and 6 year olds when they see someone throw the ball in from the sideline. Anyway, we had our first practice this morning and let me just say, "there is crying in soccer." I dealt with that scenario on numerous occasions today with multiple young athletes. Once I even kicked the ball and hit Ella in the arm which summoned an outpouring of emotion. Not to mention at 8:00 in the early morning Alabama heat my youngest fell apart when we told her she had to kick it one more time.

But all in all the initial experience was good. At this age you basically try to get the kids to learn a little ball control and learn how to have fun playing the sport. One of the greatest aspirations is just to instill the love of the game in each child so they will actually want to show up the next time out. Not a bad strategy I might add. Maybe we in the modern, American church can learn a bit from little league soccer. Am I as a father, are we as a culture, are we as believers, is the church... instilling in our children a love for the body of Christ? Are we teaching them by our actions how to fall in love with our Savior? When it is all said and done, do they want to show up in a place of worship because we make them or because they actually want to go? VBS is great and all but what do we do the rest of the year to create an atmosphere where our kids learn about God but equally as important actually want to go?

If our children are our future what kind of investments are we as the church making for that future? My church, Church of the Highlands, I feel does a great job at this. There are churches all over our city, state, and country that do a good job at creating a child friendly environment to learn about Christ. My heart goes out to those who do not. I want my girls to want to go to church. I do not ever want to be the kind of dad who makes my kids go (which I do not believe is actually a bad idea if it comes to that) but I want them to have that deep desire at an early age to know Christ but also to simply go to church. After all, "there's no crying in church."

Real Men Wear Sunscreen...

As I sat on a stool in an old fashioned soda shop in Apalachicola, FL listening to Lionel Ritchie sing "Stuck on You" during my recent family vacation... I realized that there are some things you do on vacation that you just don't do on normal days. A long standing tradition in our family is that we leave our watches at home when we leave for vacation. Time really doesn't matter. We declare it from the get go. We sleep late... well, I do anyway. I wear a hat almost everyday. If my wife doesn't want to wear make-up, she doesn't have to (and I might add that she looks amazing with no make-up. Seriously.) The rules of family vacation are just different. The pace is slower. The capturing of special family moments seems to slide up the importance scale a bit more. We make sure to relax and eat what we want, when we want. It's vacation.

With the exception of baseball caps and the absence of Lionel Ritchie, why aren't more days like vacation? I can only imagine that the stress levels would drastically fall. I often wonder what life was like in the "good old days"? When it took weeks to travel across country and days to cross the state. How simple life must have been. And why does the term "simple" have the connotation of poor and being without? I think we all need to take a big old break, take a few more deep breaths and relax. Why not enjoy the small things like sitting on the porch at night and watching for shooting stars? So, my deepest advice for America... slow down. Enjoy the ride. There's lots to see.

And as the title suggests, yes... I did wear sunscreen on my family beach vacation.

Binge Thinking.

Fads. Here today, gone tomorrow. Out of sight, out of mind. Why is it that we often don't think about certain things... that is until it seems a little more pertinent to our immediate situation? For example, what is the expiration date on your driver's license? I would be willing to bet that no one knows it without looking (except for those with self diagnosed OCD like members of my family). But once you realize that date of expiration is drawing near, then it becomes something to address. Or what about that little sticker you get each time you get an oil change. Are you really mentally aware of how many miles you travel between oil changes? If it weren't for those little stickers, maybe you might forget all together when you even got your oil changed last. There are so many things in life that we just tend to forget about until it becomes urgent.

What about our walk with God? I wonder if I am the only one that turns up the heat between me and the Lord whenever the heat gets turned up on me? Maybe you've noticed in your own life the tendency to think much more about Him when you sense the need for His intervention. Maybe you realize that He is not quite the center once thinks get shaky and you find yourself thinking about Him a little more often. Why is it we don't think about Him as much when things are going well? Why do we binge think during tough times?

I am realizing more than ever the dangers of binge drinking (which if you don't know means the excessive intake of alcohol during a short period of time) and as I think now I am also realizing the dangers of binge thinking. Lord, let me not neglect you during the easy days. Let me not forget You for even a moment.

By the way... have you changed the ac filter at your home? Have you changed the batteries in your smoke alarms?

n-da-pin-dance dae

for me... it's BBQ, homemade ice cream, all the family, fireworks in Homewood, buy one get one free bottle rockets and possibly a watermelon. Most of my life the 4th of July has been about everything other than celebrating my Independence. Even though as I have grown older I may have had more of an awareness about those who fought for my Independence and those who sacrificed, dreamed, believed and then kicked a little British booty but really it has been a simple and quaint acknowledgement at best of my true freedom and my amazing country. I imagine Independence is much like grace in that you really don't notice it unless you don't have it.

I can't imagine not having the freedom to choose who and how I worship but break it down a bit... how about not having the simple freedom to watch the news, or report the news, or even down to what I wear, drive, live? I can't even begin to imagine what life is like without freedom. I have absolutely no frame of reference to comprehend such a life. Or do I?

Spiritually speaking. God infused us all with the ability to choose, in a sense a freedom to make our own decisions. But on the flip side who wants to be independent from God? In the Bible it says that apart from Him we can do nothing. In my mind and my heart I would never consider living independently or away from God but what about my actions? Do they say otherwise? Do my actions tend to be those that I choose or the ones I feel He chooses? If I'm not careful here I can get a little confused. I love my Independence in one sense but I cherish even more my dependence. I thank God for options, however...

This 4th of July season I will celebrate two things. My Independence and my dependence. Happy BBQ day.

tiny miracles

I have often wondered why we don't experience more of the old school BIG miracles here in the good old USA. I have listened to way too many self-proclaimed theologians try to debate this issue and for me none them adequately make their case. Earlier this week I had the opportunity to go and speak to about 25 senior adults about The Foundry. After about 35 minutes of babbling chatter I sat down and a gentleman who appeared to be in his mid 70's stood and gave a brief devotion.

Near the end he told of an experience he had witnessed the day before. He had been called to the ER because a friend had fallen and had been knocked unconscious. When he arrived at the hospital he said he stood and softly prayed a very simple prayer that went something like this... "Lord, we commit him into your hands, please heal him." The man was quite delirious and coming and going out of consciousness. He was very physically shaken by his fall. About 15 minutes later the man suddenly popped out of his crazed state and was perfectly back to normal. In fact they released him from the hospital in no time at all and only a few short minutes earlier they were ordering every kind of test they could to find out what was wrong.

As the man finished his story he softly but forcefully proclaimed that God was still alive, walking with us and still performing miracles. The crowd that surrounded me erupted into an elderly applause. It resembled a quaint golf clap at best. I too joined in with my 11 seconds of amazing praise to the King of Kings for His mighty works.

Then as I sat there I wandered away mentally. Why is it that I just discounted a miracle? A supernatural intervention of the Lord Almighty and I dismissed it as a tiny miracle. Have I been so jaded that the normal everyday moves of God's Holy Spirit no longer move me? Will it take another "inside the belly of a whale" kind of moment to crank my motor? I have to imagine that I am not the only one that haphazardly clapped as you sat in a Sunday School class and listened to the testimony of a tiny miracle. Is there such a thing as a tiny miracle? Isn't a tiny miracle like a minor heart transplant?

Why is it that unless it is a raising of the dead we too often first respond with a skeptical attitude? Is it the church's fault? Is it my fault? Is the devil's fault? Let us NEVER forget that God is the same today, yesterday, and forever. There are no tiny miracles. Just ask those who have been on the receiving end of such miracles... and see what they say.

cultural diversity

This fine country of ours have often been referred to as a melting pot. You don't have to look very far to find someone that is exactly the opposite of you. Just yesterday I drove past two old men selling produce on the side of the road. At first I drove past but as I continued my drive I was intrigued by the two old birds and decided to turn around and check em out. As I got out of my truck and approached them they sat still in their folding lawn chairs, one in over-alls and the other sitting quietly as a trusty sidekick. I bought a watermelon and this seemed to give me an opportunity to talk. I think maybe I wanted to just talk more than I wanted the watermelon.

Anyway, they began to share with me a glimpse into their lives. The main guy, adorned in his finest Dickey's, began telling me the stories of his childhood. He was one of fourteen children (all from the same mother he added) and how he had worked on the family farm until his early 30's. He complained about the taxes he was having to pay on his produce and how "the man" was robbing him blind. He added some of the funniest (and dirtiest) jokes that I had heard in a long time. I stood with my watermelon and free tomato that he just wanted me to try and listened until I had to leave. He had other paying customers arriving and his attention quickly was re-routed.

As I drove home I thought about how different his life was from mine. We possibly shared the same opinion on taxes, a similar view on politics and who knows... maybe a resemblance on matters of faith. But we were still so very different.

I was reminded yet again how diverse our country is. I was even reminded how diverse our own lives can be. I was and am still challenged to embrace those who see through different shades this thing we call life. I hope my $6 contribution helps the old man out. Just a few minutes of conversation with him helped me in a great way to see that this is a big old world.

the small things.

disclaimer: the examples and statistics are not original to the author and are purely second hand at best. to verify... google.

I heard recently that in 1999 Ellen Degeneres participated in the first lesbian kiss on television. I remember the hype that preceded this event as well as the controversy that followed. I also heard that as a result of this "original kiss" that more than 20 prime time sitcoms directly involving homosexual relationships have aired.

Have you ever noticed that once you tell a small lie or as I like to call them... a fib... that it becomes easier to tell more mistruths? It is almost as if the first stretching of the truth is a gateway drug to many more. I have heard that for most professional criminals, their first crime was somewhat minor. It appears to me that there is a pattern.

That first breaking of the ice by Ellen opened the door for the subject of homosexuality to be displayed for the whole world. It was simple. A kiss. Not that I am condoning the show, the person, or the act but the point I am making is that the door was opened. Once the door is cracked open, the floodgates swing not too far behind. I have also heard that this is similar to the act of sin. Open the door and watch out! It reminds me of a virus. I tiny micro-element spreads throughout the body and quickly takes over and dictates the way we feel, the way we perform, the way we recover.

It's the small things that we need to guard against. Once the small pieces enter in... that's when the initial problems are born. In Psalms we are reminded to guard our heart because it is the wellspring of life. Looking out for the big things is a no-brainer. The area that I hear we need to guard against the most is the small stuff. We are told to not sweat the small stuff but I say... watch out for the small stuff because that is how the door gets opened. I'm just saying...

A Salute to Moms

Well, where would we be without moms? Answer: no where. We wouldn't be. I find it a bit funny that even as grown men we depend so much on our mothers. I have been so blessed to have almost 37 years with my mom. She is the strongest woman I have ever known. She is the most stern and compassionate woman all at the same time. She gives, gives, and gives. My mother makes every occasion a special one. From the amazing meals to hunting for Christmas presents. From Easter egg hunts to simple visits at a restaurant. Each time my family gathers... it is special, thanks to mom.

Then we marry and have children of our own. I wish I could understand the psychology behind men and their wives and their mothers. My mother knows me well enough to know when I need nurtured and so does my wife. My mother knows when I need encouraged, and so does my wife. My mother knows exactly how to treat me when I am sick, so does my wife. There's got to be something there. So, until I can figure all of this out, I just simply want to wish all mother's but especially my mother and my wife a Happy Mother's Day.

You both are simply the best!

Do the Next Right Thing...

As I type these thoughts I am actually in the middle of watching a new show with Michael J. Fox. It is called "The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist". I actually bought the book earlier this week and can hardly wait to get into it. You see, my mother gave me a "title" a few years back when she called me her "rough son" who always sought to "seize the moment". I love that she sees me this way. In my mind its like this Marlboro Man persona without the cigarettes. It is a mixture of John Wayne and Brad Pitt. That is how my loving mother sees me. But how do I see me?

I mean I live with me 24/7. I see the best of me and live quietly with the worst of me. If I had to self describe who I really am or who I am really aspiring to be... its an incurable optimist. I want to be that guy that sees the best in everything. I want to see each glass as half full. I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt even if they are trying to take advantage of me. Why? Because it is so much better than worry. It is better than anxiety. I guess there is a little bit more control in my life if I see things this way as opposed to always looking out for the bad. Too many people look at life through the negative lens. Fox even said his very own dad viewed life as this "long line of people waiting to kick him in the _ _ _ (butt)." What kind of way is that to live?

I was reminded of a similar thought earlier today. When things are not going quite like I want them to, I am prone to only see the here and now. When I have made a bad decision and am left dealing with the consequences I have a tendency to only see the immediate situation. I was reminded in a quiet moment today that God sees my momentary affliction but more importantly He sees the BIG PICTURE. Not only does He see it but at times, He allows me to catch a brief glimpse of my Big picture.

As Fox plays a round of golf with Bill Murray, he explains to Bill that this optimistic attitude is one of not always looking to do the next thing right, but rather to do the next right thing. I will leave that beautiful line up for your own interpretation but for me... it is a big picture kind of statement. I may fail in the moment but the key is to not roll around in it. The key is to pick myself up by the boot straps and to do the next right thing. Or to state it like the old timers... we may lose the battle but the victory is already won.

you just never know...

Today I met Mr. Gambino... no relation, I asked. Oddly enough though he was from New York. I was on his turf when we met so as I approached him I was extra nice... turned on the old charm. We spoke a bit at first and as I came back by him he stopped me. You see, Mr. Gambino is in his early 60's and I assumed we had very little in common. I am much more at home with good old southern folks like myself. I can easily talk about college football, the weather, tractors and the like. I assumed my "professional posture" as we began a conversation.

He asked me what I did and I proceeded to tell him about the work of The Foundry. Immediately he lit up. His face changed a bit and I wondered if he was one of those guys who was a little anti-God. But it turned out to be just the opposite. Immediately he began to share with me about his life. It had been full of ups and downs and twists and turns. He quickly told me about his life changing conversion when he was 32 and how he had followed Christ ever since. He was so unassuming and so passionate. He even told me that he knew one day he was going to be on the mission field. My mind wondered at how long he thought this was going to be. Here he is rapidly approaching retirement and he's talking about becoming a missionary. When most folks his age would be calculating the numbers to see how much he had is his nest and he's talking about reaching the world for Jesus.

I was so taken back. I had missed it on my initial assessment of who this guy was. He was a radical! We talked for the best part of 20 minutes and as we wrapped it up, he turned to me and said, "You know it is not by chance that we met today?" I thought that I should be the spiritual one and should have said that first but he beat me to the punch. In fact, I entered the conversation just trying to get on his good side. He looked important at the place I had just arrived and I wanted to make a good impression. He on the other hand was just waiting to talk about Jesus. Who knew?

So what did I take away from this encounter other than a new 62 year old friend from NYC... another moment of enlightenment that reminded me that God is working everyday in the lives of those around me and I can see it if I will only take the time to slow down. Mr. G is a great man and I am better today from having met him.

I See People...

At the end of your day, what have you really accomplished? If there is anyone out there anything at all like me, I too often measure the meaning of my day by how many items I have successfully marked off my never ending "to do" list. I know that I am wired this way. I love to get stuff done. It is my strength and my weakness all at the same time. We all know the under-achiever and the guy in the office who is always on the short end of productivity. This guy is a stumbling block for my day destined to be filled with accomplishment. Get out of my way so I can get something done. I am the guy who sits back and smiles when the in box is emptied. When all of those little yellow sticky notes are finally deposited into file 13... then and only then can I feel like I've actually done something.

The only downfall I seem to revisit here is that when all of this "work" is to the demise of my real call in life. People. Am I the only one who walks past someone else who may be in need of my services of listening just to return a meaningless phone call? What if the shoe is on the other foot? How do I feel when I need some attention of someone and they put me off to get stuff done? I find them to be inconsiderate and self-centered. They obviously have their own agenda. But what happens when I am that guy?

Think about it this way... What would others say about me if they received a "reference call" about me? Wow, that guy really knows how to shuffle paper. Man is he ever punctual to return my emails! That guy Micah, he really knows how to use his office hours to get the most out of them. As superior as these qualities may appear, that is not what I want to be known for. I want the accolade of being a people person. Let me be remembered as the guy who cared more about people that papers. When it is all said and done, let me be known as the man who listened.

Just a friendly reminder to those out there who are overtly task oriented... stop and smell the roses. The most rich accomplishment in any 24 hour period will be the people that we meet, the ones we get to know, and the ones in whom we invest a bit of us into.

characters.

every good story has a variety of characters. come to think of it, every story has characters. some dumb, some boring, some funny, some are just characters. my life is one such story. today I have been reminded that each character has in them their own story. life is so rich when you take the time to see the character for what they really are. some dumb, some boring, some funny...

each day that I breath (which is 100% of them to date) is in itself a blank page waiting to be written on. the lines of tragedy, the lines of poetry, the lines of drama waiting to unfold. don't rush the unfolding beauty. just let it happen. a life connected with Almighty God is yet another story. its beauty is certainly in the ending. do yourself a favor today, read it all. love the characters.

a measure of spirituality... 8 words.

I heard a line today that captured my attention. At some point in your life you will face tough times. We all do, some more often than others but nonetheless they will come. I often wonder why? Why me? Are tough times God's way of dealing with my wandering from Him? Are my personal trials a way that God gets even with me? Is it a loving Father disciplining me for only He knows what? In my mind, these would all be logical and even worthy thoughts. Maybe it is a by-product of the way I was raised and how I have grown to see God. I battle from time to time with the all loving, on my side version of God and the "I'll show you", He's out to get me type of God.

My experience and His word show me one thing but my mind and my own personal guilt lead me in other directions. I get torn. But the line that got me today was in reference to this point... Tough times happen to everyone. Matthew 5:45 says "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." We all face tough times. But get ready, here it comes... "Problems are not a measure of my spirituality." Wow, how liberating are those 8 words?

That again tells me that He is not out to get me. It is part of a fallen world. Tough times happen. They happen to us all. It's like that passage of scripture when the disciples asked Jesus about the blind man. They said something like "who sinned, him or his parents, that caused him to be blind?" Jesus response was simple... it aint like that.

So, in the midst of tough times, be reminded that it may just be a way of strengthening us. It may be part of a plan that we didn't get let in on just yet. In tough times, ask this question... "Lord, what is it that You want me to learn in all of this?"

today I stopped...

Ever notice how when you are at your busiest moment of the day, somebody was created just to interrupt you in mid-stride? Or when you are actually finding a minute of extreme productivity in whatever the task may be, the cell phone rings. And it's your wife. What do you do? Let it roll to voicemail? What if it is an emergency? What if she is just calling to tell you how much she loves you and that you are the most wonderful man in the world... I mean you want to catch that call for sure.

But what about those other people. The drains on social society. We all have them in our life and if you don't just call me... I'll share. You know the type... those who when you see them coming you quickly act like you are getting a call. Those people were created to step in the midst of your already stormy day and add more calamity not calmness. I wonder if God in all of His infinite wisdom doesn't just send some of those people to intersect your hectic and possibly meaningless day? I mean what if He sees that we need to slow down, take a deep breath and remember what we were created for? After all, aren't we supposed to love others in the same manner as we love ourselves?

Well, today I stopped. I was briskly making my way from one appointment to another when I walked past a lady I did not know at all standing at the bus stop. I spoke and actually was intentional to make eye contact with her so that she knew I really wondered (even if for but a brief moment) how she was really doing. She spoke back as if she felt that I really was interested. The next thing I know I am hearing all about how great and wonderful God has been to her. She starts by telling me how her pastor carried a wooden cross made from a real tree that he had harvested all by himself into church on Easter Sunday morning. I kind of laughed it off and thought how ridiculous that idea was. In fact, do something original... that carrying the cross thing has been played out for hundreds of years. Then it hit me. She wasn't talking to me, she was talking at me. She had a message that I needed to hear. Maybe in my self-righteous little life I may have missed the beauty of Easter yesterday. She was my reminder. She went on to tell me all about her son who was severely handicapped had just turned 18 and the doctors had told her years earlier that he wouldn't live past 5. She poured out the miracles that God had performed in her own life and all I could do was think that she was sent into my life by my Heavenly Father today, not to slow me down, but rather to stop me cold in my tracks.

She got it. She had experienced first hand the beauty of the resurrection and she was sharing it with me whether I wanted to hear it or not. Her bus came and she scurried off to make it home I guess and I was left to deal with what remained. Me, standing there. A man who truly wants to please God in every aspect of my life. A man who wants to give more than he takes. A man who strives daily to take life by the horns and ride each moment for everything that is in it. And all I could do was stop.

the missed embrace.

Sin occurs everyday. Whether it is you or it is me or someone else... it happens. Temptation occurs seemingly thousands of times everyday. It happens. In those moments of disobedience to our Heavenly Father, for me at least, it becomes all about me. My inadequacy to stand on my personal promises to God in private moments of prayer. About how I feel like I have let down and disappointed the One who matters most. It becomes about patterns and habits in our lives. And even when we read something like this what do we do? We wonder and try to figure out what it is that the writer is referring to. What are his struggles? What "sin" or "temptation" is he talking about. Well, if you just did that. STOP. Too often it is a practice of self-justification. If someone else's stuff is worse than mine then that makes me less bad. Or if someone else is dealing with the same kind of stuff I have then maybe I am not so yucky of a person after all. Again, STOP.

You don't get points based on my performance just like I don't score better when you fail. Here again, we almost always make it personal... it's about me.

I had this thought this morning as I listened to Donal Miller (Blue Like Jazz guy) and here it is: What if in those moments where we face a choice to do what is right or to do what is self fulfilling, that in that very moment it is not in His eyes a choice about right or wrong but rather an opportunity to embrace Him? Forget you for a moment and try to see you through His eyes. In that moment we call temptation, see it as a call from Heaven to simply grab on to His way. Not a personal fork in the road, which way do I go? It is a moment where we can embrace our Heavenly Father and allow Him to do what only He can do anyway.

Maybe you missed a chance to embrace Him today. The saddest part of that is that moment can never be regained. Not that he will never provide that type of moment again, but that specific moment is gone. Adios. My personal prayer today is "please send me another moment... soon." Send me another opportunity to put me aside and simply embrace You.

just like daddy

As I walked across my kitchen floor tonight, I had a flash go before my eyes. For a split second I thought I saw my dad. Not like in a six-sense kind of way but more like a reflection. There are no mirrors in my kitchen and nothing really to cast a glare and in fact it wasn't even a real reflection. It was actually me. You see, after 14 years I shaved my beard off yesterday. My daughters had never seen me without any facial hair and my wife could barely remember what I "used" to look like. Who knew I had a dimple on my chin. I didn't remember that being there.

As I stood in the shower tonight peering into that little shaving mirror I noticed how funny my upper lip looked. Then as I stared at my almost clean face I saw my dad. I remembered for a split second how his face felt and looked as he had that nice 5 o'clock shadow. I remembered that late night smell of his t-shirt... it always had that same familiar smell.

Later as I walked across the kitchen in my same old pajama pants (almost like my dad used to wear) and those house shoes that we bought him for Christmas year before last that he never wore and gave back to me and after eating my late night bowl of vanilla ice cream... I saw my dad. He used to eat a bowl of ice cream or chips and a slice of cheese almost every night. And lo and behold... now I am doing it. I wonder quietly what it is that I do that my daughters will pick up from me as they grow older?

And all of a sudden I wonder how much of him do I reflect? And better yet, how much of Him do I reflect? As we all strive to please our fathers or even our Father, how much of our compassion for others is in His image? How much of our passion is a resemblance of Him? It isn't all that difficult to decipher. He made it fairly simple. Yesterday, today, tomorrow... how much do I grow to be more like my Daddy?

alone.

by yourself is an odd place. if you are truly alone you can scream as loud as you can and nobody can hear you. you can think out loud, talk to yourself, act goofy, run, dance, jump. alone is a free place. you dont feel the pressure to please anyone or the tension to do what is right or expected and there is a freedom in that. sometimes, i cherish that alone time. in fact, most every night i wait for that alone time when it finally settles down at my house and everyone is asleep but me. the television is more than likely on but irrelevant. quietness overcomes me as i sit in "my" chair looking increasingly like my father... pajama pants, same old t-shirt and those horrible house shoes. i dont know why i wear them. i hate the fact that i feel the need to but maybe it is part of my genetical makeup... dna? alone. no one to answer. no one to question. no one to listen to. no one to talk back. completely alone... well, except for God.

there is such solitude and peace and freedom in being alone. by yourself is an odd place. the place that brings such stillness is also the same place that brings restlessness. i completely acknowledge the difference between alone and lonely. in fact, that is the difference in and of itself. alone on the flip side is a horrible, singular, blinding, deafeningly silent place. as much as i covet my personal quiet solitude i never want to exchange it for loneliness. for those who have experienced that type of failing trade, an emotional bailout is in order. only after three recent days apart from my soul mate and i am a desolate human. i live in temporary lostness when we are apart. yet too often i experience the same thing when we are together. there are times when i take for granted the treasure i am honored to call my wife. after about 48 hours apart neither one of us is fun to be around. we get to missing one another. it just happens. we both love our alone time. neither of us wants to experience loneliness.

briefly alone... ok. other than that, i'm out. in fact God even said that it was not good for man to be alone. i bet He was thinking about me.

friends are friends forever.

Back in the day, this song by MWS was played at every graduation, church youth group, and retreat in the entire South Eastern United States. It almost shames me that I at one time cried after hearing this song and even now this song turns my stomach (in a much different way). But the theme still runs true. Friends (real friends) are friends forever. After a weekend involving lots of re-visits with old friends, I have been reminded of this simple fact. Try this some time just for fun...

joerodneytomjohnmarcstevenkeithshanamelissakelleymelodietoddrusstreyshanesusanchrisshawnkevindavidshannongaryjasonmattjimmytoddkipbradmatteloajustinbrocknickwilliamdavesonnylukejeffmatttonyabridgettkristenamandajenniferkevintomderrickphillipbenduncanraymondchrischadchrisrandygarmoncjantwantonyfloyddavidmikejohnalanmaryzacdwaindanajoelcraigbriandukephiltimbrettjoetylermacjondeechadronnieandymicahelliotdarelldustinkevindaveyjaredmichaelbillbobsandortimeddiejohnnylesliemichelesisdavejoeymattsherrymonacindytracytawanabrandonbrockglenroblonniestevewilledevierobbirralphrachaeltimothythomastashaicemanjonathanirisolivianickprestonpamelapaulmarcimatthewmelvincharlesiraianjasoneggychrisbutchcalvinbrandimaudeangelaaustinsethdustyfredgregharryjustinekarllarryalisallydevonfelixgennielaurenharmonyjuliaroyalicekimlawrencemistynataliebertriceviccandizoraadamsharondorisfrankgillhollyjessiekolbylorenqvariuswilliamellarufustorreyyasmineuniceivanoliverpete.

It took me about five minutes to just list the first names of people who I call friend. The list thankfully is much more exhaustive than this but I got tired of thinking. After spending time with friends this weekend I am thankful for them all. It is just so nice t have people in your life who get you. I mean you don't have to explain yourself at all. If you try they see through the crap because they know the real you. They see past the bad and know first hand the good. It is like you never have to catch back up you just carry on.

Good friends are hard to come by for some people. I am a man who has been blessed with many... good friends.

If crack were Christ...

For the last several years I have really studied what it means to be a leader. I have read the books, gone to the conferences and even know the quotes... "Leaders aren't born, they are made." "Leaders aren't made, they are born." "Leaders aren't made nor born, they are the ones who stand up and out in front under severe circumstances." For the love... Which one is it?

Over the years and even again today I wonder about the line. The line between leading someone and manipulating someone. I mean think about it. In both cases you are imposing your influence on someone else for a desired result. What is the difference? Since I now serve in the drug and alcohol recovery world... let's take crack for example. If I am an addict and misery breeds company then I am possibly likely to lead someone else down the crack path with me. I impose my influence on them for my desired result. Is it me leading them or is it me manipulating them? What if crack were Christ? If I am trying to lead someone to follow Christ, I want them to see things how I see things. I impose my influence on them for yet another desired result.

I believe the difference between leading someone and manipulating someone is simple. It is at the core a matter of motive. What is my motivation? If I impose my influence on someone is it for their best interest or is it for my gain? Is it about what I can give them or is it about what I can take from them? I just believe that Christ may be our best role model yet again. His motive was never selfish. He never manipulated anyone. He led them. His motive was pure. To give life. To give His life so we all could gain life eternal.

We all lead. Some in big ways, some in small ways. What is your motive?

a mile in her shoes.

I was reminded today that my perception of someone else's reality doesn't necessarily equate reality. Think about it... how quick are you to judge someone just by their appearance? What about the tattooed guy eating lunch in the park? What about the mom with more kids than she can possibly provide for (14 total and 8 at one time)? Even in church, when someone walks past you what do most of us automatically do? We make an assumption.

I was reminded today that I don't know what it is like at someone else's house. I mean, it could be picture perfect. Everything is all together. No problems that are visibly evident. But what really happens when they all get home? Is there distance between them? Is there hurt between them? Its like the old saying, "Don't judge the book by its cover." I am unbelievably grateful that God looks at my heart instead of my actions or even my outward appearance... the frown, the look of despair, the image that we too often read in to.

You never know all of the circumstances unless they are yours. You never truly know until... you walk a mile in her shoes.

seize the day

One of the rules that I so desperately attempt to live by is really simple. make the most of every moment. Seize the day for what it has to offer. Now I'm not overboard getting up at 4:00 in the morning like one man I know but I do attempt to use every waking hour to my advantage. I am a night person (not to be confused with a person of the night) and I stay up piddling around because I don't want to miss out on anything. I've always been that way. I feel the need to squeeze every opportunity out of every hour.

In my prior job I really thought I'd retire there. That's really crazy since I'm only 36... but I thought Randy, Phillip, Kevin, Tom, Derrick, CJ, Tony, Chris T, Wade, Chris, Garmon, Twan, and even Floyd... we'd always work together. In fact I lived almost every day with the pattern of not taking any of it all for granted because I just wanted to live it all up. I have this burning inside me that just wants to live each day like it may be my last.

So, whatever it is... your wife/husband, your kids, your church, your job, your friends, where you VOLUNTEER, or whatever it (LIFE) looks like for you... seize it all. Don't live timid. Don't look back. Dream. Run wide open. Don't say I'll do it tomorrow... Tomorrow begins Today.

troubled and saved for there.

I have been troubled lately. About ten days ago I was walking through my local grocery store and noticed a man standing near the baby diapers. I noticed him because he was looking at the different brands quite thoroughly and I remembered the days... Well, I did my shopping and went and stood in line. As I approached the end of the line this same man walked rather quickly right past me, in front of me actually, and right out the front door. He had a a little plastic hand basket full of stuff and diapers on the top. As her left the store I watched him walk across the parking lot faster and faster and then as he approached his van (which was parked right next to my truck) he hit sprint speed and jumped in the van as it was already leaving the station!

I was amazed. I was shocked. I was mad. I was heart-broken. I was troubled. I don't know if I was more troubled that I witnessed this and did nothing or if I was more troubled that he stole baby diapers. This really bothered me. It happened so fast all I could do was watch and then... he was gone. troubled.

And for some weird reason I have been checking the obituaries in the paper every other day for the last two or three weeks. I don't know why. But as I turn to the columns of words written about the recently deceased, my eye always looks to see how old they were when they passed. I see death with completely un-spiritual eyes way too much. I know when we die (as believers) we will meet our ultimate reward but it takes me a while to get there. I think about death and tragedy and my heart hurts because someone is stripped away from those who love them. Anyway, we had a fatal traffic accident by my house about two or three weeks ago and I was about six minutes ahead of the accident. That has troubled me.

Then I find myself becoming restless with me. And then... I have one of those quiet "me and God" moments. I sense Him speak to me in a moment of stillness and quietness. The reason you are troubled is because you are seeking to fit into a place you were not designed to fit. It's like I'm trying to make my place in this world when ultimately I wasn't made for this world. So can I find peace? Yes, but peace in Him. So do I fit? No... maybe for a time and at a certain place. But the bottom line is I can not find that Utopian comfort because it is not to be found here. It is saved for there.

2 Corinthians 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal."

Under The Influence 2

As I have thought about it all over the past several days... there are quite a few more men that have been incredibly influential in my life... so I continue. And just for the record there is no specific order.

Randy Sheeks - Randy taught me how to fear riding with others. Among other things, he also was a great example of organization and excellence. Except for his desk he always seemed to have it together. He taught me that laughing could possibly be a spiritual gift. We laughed a lot together. He has shown me how to carry and present myself with a Godly dignity and was the greatest picture of integrity. A great man.

Joe Mayeux - After spending almost every Thursday morning with Joe for more than a year... he taught me how to be a great husband. Through his teaching and through his example. He poured into my life in so many ways. He is one of those tender warrior types that you aspire to be like. A great man.

Darrell Garrett & Elliot Hicks - Wow. Almost ten years ago, who knew? These two guys in tandem allowed me to see what real friendship is all about. They saw the real me and chose to still call me friend. I can't really explain it... it's like a brotherhood in and of itself. With these two, I know if I go to battle... they've got my back. They have proven that time and time again. Two great men.

Jerry Hart - My father in law. A man that can do anything. He's been a resource like no other. When I break something... he tells me how to fix it. At an early age he invested into my life always teaching me. He trusted me when I didn't appreciate it. He has taught me more that just about anyone else in my life about being a handyman (not that I'm all that handy). Most importantly he trusted me with his daughter. A great man.

Tim Brown - Tim taught me that some people in this world do get it. He is one of the most sincere men I have ever known. He lifted me up so many times when I needed it most. He too believed in me. I have said many times that there are few pastors that I would love to work with... Tim Brown is tops on that list. A great man.

This may continue for a third season and if it does... just read and smile.

happy Anniversary to me...

one year ago today...

I experienced one of the most bitter-sweet moments of my entire adult life. As I have gone throughout my day today I have reflected back to the one day and even the one moment that truly changed the course of my families future. One year ago today, I sat alone on the beach conversing with God. It was a very private moment and a deeply personal moment. I guess from the time I sat down until the time I had some clarity it probably totalled somewhere between 20-30 minutes. Karie and I had felt these inner nudges but really couldn't figure out what they were all about. You see, I was living out my dream. I had a great job, surrounded by amazing people, and I worked for the Almighty. But we were so unsettled. We knew something was up but just couldn't put it all together. THEN... January 17th... the moment of clarity. As I sat there I sensed in a crazy-real kind of way that God was speaking to me. I didn't hear Him but I heard Him... (that's wild I know). As Daddy spoke to my heart I felt this... "If you trust Me... step out." Followed by "Draw a line in the sand." So I did. The past year has been a whirlwind.

We didn't really step out in faith but more like ran as fast as we could toward the cliff, knowing it was a cliff, blind-folded, and just held hands and jumped! We left our comfort and the life we adored to pursue the next chapter. Little did we know that nine months later I would have a new job, our family would have a new church, we would move across town and we would have literally hundreds of new faces in our life. Happy? Not so much at first. Mainly confused mixed with a lot of trust and dependence. Happy? Now... more than I can possibly begin to describe. We love all the people that come into our life. It is like a new friendship every single day. So in the words of Pete Carroll... we've come to wake up every day "expecting something amazing to take place."

one year ago today...

Goals, Goals everywhere Goals

First things first. How many words can you make from the word GOALS: slag, logs, go, as, Al, gas, sag, Sal, so, gal and maybe several others. I don't know about your world but in mine, the beginning of each new year always comes with someone telling me I should set some goals and they want to see them. I've been setting annual goals for more than a decade now and they seem to always be extremely similar.

Goals at work. Goals with my family. Personal goals. Goals at church. Personal spiritual goals. Financial goals. Physical fitness goals (Brian Burns... where are you when I need you most?). Goals, goals everywhere goals. If my beloved Crimson Tide could have scored that many goals against tebow maybe we could have won!

You get the idea. We launch out into each new year with a fresh set of goals and the zeal to conquer them all. As the first month rolls on maybe our goals are already in need of revision (that's a cool word by the way: Re and Vision - get my vision again). For me, I am one of those guys who simply needs to first of all know what the bottom line is in order to set the best goals.

for example: If I need to eliminate $1000 of debt this year... that's the bottom line and I can see it and set appropriate goals accordingly. If I set a goal to 'get closer to God' this year... that's the bottom line and I know I need to schedule a set reading and prayer time. But this year as I thought through this goal thing I have just stepped back and tried to get the BIG picture view and to reassess as well as determine my overall bottom line. As complicated as I may attempt to make it... it really is simple.

My ultimate bottom line, my ultimate goal in life is this. To live in such a way that I will one day stand before my Creator and hear Him say... "Well done son. Come join me forever."

Under the Influence

Men have always influenced one another. Jesus influenced the disciples. Fathers influence sons. Leaders influence followers. Uncle Jesse influenced Bo and Luke. Influence is one of the factors that is at the root of human nature. It happens. Often for the good and some times for the bad. We can probably all think of a few bad influences... at least according to our mother's perspective. Who knows, maybe I am the bad influence that other kids moms warned them about.

Regardless of who, where, when, or even how we have all been influenced by someone. As I thought about the magnitude of influence I began to reflect back on my own personal top 10 list of men who at different phases of my life have had a significant impact and influence. This is not a comprehensive list and there is really no real order to it except for the last one I'll list. I will save the best for last...

10. Perry Haymon - When I was in junior high school Perry was attending our church and he was then a college student at UA. He was the most brilliant man I had ever known at the time. He was an engineer and he helped me develop a science project that actually competed in the state science fair finals (I didn't win). But Perry was a teacher. He allowed me to think for myself. He taught me the concept of discovery. He wouldn't tell me the answers but rather showed me how to figure them out for myself. I probably owe my "take it apart and put it back together" mentality to him. A great man.

9. Jonathan Barnett - Now Dr. Barnett, and for a brief time my dentist. I was a junior in high school and he was a junior at UA and also attended my church. Jonathan was also a brilliant thinker. He allowed me to learn a few life lessons the hard way. I would say that Jonathan had an influence on my life by showing me how to live as a Godly young man. No matter what the pressures were on him, he stuck to his faith and his decisions followed. A great man.

8. Kevin Kelley - One of my best friends in this entire world. We often joke that we had to be brothers from seperate mothers. Even in recent years we realized ways that we were more alike than we ever knew. He was my mentor. We traveled the world together and he taught me everything I knew/know about being a youth pastor. I learned from him how to be tough and how to be gentle. I learned from him how to take advantage of every moment in life. Every day hold countless numbers of teachable moments if we are only looking for them. I owe him more than I'll ever be able to repay. A great man.

7. Sonny Howell/Luke Morgan - This spot gets a tie. These two guys were friends in college. I was trying to experiment and find my way and they were solid as rocks. I was desperately looking for my identity and they gave me a simple push in the right direction. They may neither know it but they had a huge impact on my life. Two great men.

6. Raymond Culpepper - I spent 8 years of my life following and hanging on every word he spoke. He gave me the freedom to spread my wings and fly in ministry. There are so many one-liners that have stuck with me over the years that came from him. I watched how he carried himself as a professional and that stuck with me as well. Quotes: "What's more important is not how many people we bring in but rather how many people we send out." "We have accomplished nothing if after 20 years here we are just a flash in the pan." A great man.

5. Barry Copeland - In recent years Barry worked with me so much on public speaking skills. Every once in a while I would say something in a public setting and afterwards Barry would come and coach me a little. He has always been so encouraging and he never failed to leave me lifted. He also has shown me so many things about the market place and little pieces here and there about being a successful professional. A great man.

4. Bill McKenzie - He is my doctor which may be a little odd since he is an OB/GYN. But not only does he keep me healthy, he is a true friend. I have watched him as a father and husband and I know that he is someone I want to be like. I don't want to be him but rather I want to lead and live in the same kind of way he does. He loves his kids and they love him. He is an amazing example of a Godly father. A great man.

3. Chris Goins - One of the most profound relationships in my adult life... he gave me a chance to develop as a teacher. He pushed me to always be better and do my best everyday. He has been a great example for me in every aspect. He taught me how to think creatively. He taught me how to communicate creatively. A great man.

2. Roy McSwain - Otherwise known as Paw Paw. He just turned 87 a few days ago. I have seen him in some tough places with his health but he is a real example of a fighter. He's not mean or angry or even all that big but he has outlived two wives and a girlfriend. He fights hard. maybe it has something to do with serving in WWII. Everytime I am around him I am challenged to be better. When I see him I just want to be a fighter. A man who fights for what he knows is right and what matters. A great man.

1. Ken Andrews - The greatest man I know. I love his idiosynchrisies. I love the way he sits, stands, walks... there are patterns to them all. He has taught me how to love children. he has taught me how to love a wife. He has taught me how to get back up when you get knocked down. But more than any of that he has taught me how to love other people and to be a servant. These are two of the values that I hang my hat on. I strive to be that kind of man everyday. All of that was modeled to me by my hero... the greatest influencer of them all... my dad. A great man.

So what does your list look like?

2009

Inspired recently by a message that I heard at my church I looked up the lyrics to the tune that so many will cheer at the stroke of midnight each New Years Eve. If you've never read the words I encourage you to look them up... it is a journey in and of itself. From what I gather personally coupled with the "interpretation" from my pastor I see that we sing of the thoughts of days gone by. Most noticeably the days that have just passed by... like this past year.

I am sure so many have turned contemplative in the past week or so and may have even resolved to make some changes in this fleeting year and I would for that reason like to pass on my thoughts on someone else's words. Here's some good medicine:

From this past year... celebrate the victories. Maybe too often when something good happens to us or maybe even when we accomplish something great maybe, just maybe... we rapidly move on to the next dilemma without properly celebrating the victories. At work? When you get it right do you truly celebrate. Not to be confused with gloating or pride but I mean genuine celebration. At home with your children? When the good grades arrive or the picture that has been colored so brilliantly gets placed before you... Enjoy it. Savor it. Live in that victory for just a brief time in order to be recharged and reminded that you do have it in you.

Also from this past year... keep the good. From the awful gas prices we paid this year to the buckling economy... somewhere in the midst of all of that is our life. I say look back and pull out the good things that happened. The new jobs, the new friendships, the good people, the good places, the good things. Hold on to them. Let them propel you into the coming year.

Lastly as we revisit the past year... get rid of the bad. The failures, the disappointments, the hurt, the loneliness, the broken... leave it all in 08. Don't drag it all around. Bid farewell to the bad and run fast into the good.

So as we recover from the overindulging holidays, step out and make 2009 the best year you have ever had in ALL aspects of your life.